Project 4:4

Hello.

So if you have seen my Facebook then you know that my church is going through the Bible in one year, in chronological order. I am excited, I am participating, and I am loving it. It is a new adventure for me; and I love adventures (a lot).

Everyday, starting from Genesis 1:1 on January 1st, we read 5 pages a day. I started out a little behind since I was sharing the Bible with both my parents and sometimes didn't know where the Bible ended up (which my house isn't that big, so I don't know how I lose things so easily sometimes), but I was about 2 weeks behind at one point. But! I am now caught up because my parents bought me my own chronologically ordered Bible so I always know where it is. Everyday, Pastor Mark Ashton puts up "daily accelerators" that talk about the 5 pages we just read and go more in depth (http://cccomaha.org/blogs/project44/category/daily-accelerators/). I have found these to be extremely helpful.

I must say that within 1 week I noticed a complete change in my attitude, my happiness, my thoughts, my actions, and well everything. Today we just finished the book of Genesis and it has been extremely awesome. I've got a pattern down for my day, so I know and remember (key word being remember) when to read my Bible. I dwell in thoughts quite a bit, usually very sad ones, but I have noticed that by reading my Bible everyday, I pray more, and I don't dwell on sad things anymore. I am so much more happy and positive during the day.

I read my Bible right before I go to bed. I have found this best for me because well...I have a wild imagination and I let the smallest sounds in my room scare me (yes...I am still scared of something getting me in the night...yes I am 21). I hate darkness and I hate big spaces (hence why I have the smallest bedroom in the house, painted a wonderfully bright blue and green!). Back to my imagination....with it being so wild and out-of-control, I tend to not be able to fall asleep so well most nights. Since I have started reading my Bible right before I go to bed, my mind is more at ease, I feel so much more peaceful, and I fear nothing because my mind is completely focused on God. I fall asleep much quicker now and it's wonderful.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked advance against me to devour me,

it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me, even then I will be confident."

Psalm 27:1-3

Letting Go...

Hello.

Letting go is hard. Usually I'm very good at letting go, but when you hurt, letting go is hard. I have been holding on to some things for way too long and when there are no customers at work, or I can't sleep, I sit there and dwell on these things. It makes my heart hurt. I don't know why I keep thinking these things because a lot of these people (actually almost all) are not in my life anymore. I know it's unhealthy, but it is like a magnet or those light things that attract flies in restaurants and whatnot. I want to let it all go...I just can't. And it's not that I haven't forgiven these people (to there knowledge or not), but I have. I just can't stop thinking about it all and why people would say and do those things to another person. It just hurts. Then I hurt because of it. And I know my mom said that these people have long forgotten whatever it is you're holding on to and so now the only person it's hurting anymore is you and the only person with the burden is you (we were actually talking about someone else and what he was holding on to, but I carried it over to my situation), but it still lingers in my mind, unable to die.

Lord, just give me peace.