Letting Go...

Hello.

Letting go is hard. Usually I'm very good at letting go, but when you hurt, letting go is hard. I have been holding on to some things for way too long and when there are no customers at work, or I can't sleep, I sit there and dwell on these things. It makes my heart hurt. I don't know why I keep thinking these things because a lot of these people (actually almost all) are not in my life anymore. I know it's unhealthy, but it is like a magnet or those light things that attract flies in restaurants and whatnot. I want to let it all go...I just can't. And it's not that I haven't forgiven these people (to there knowledge or not), but I have. I just can't stop thinking about it all and why people would say and do those things to another person. It just hurts. Then I hurt because of it. And I know my mom said that these people have long forgotten whatever it is you're holding on to and so now the only person it's hurting anymore is you and the only person with the burden is you (we were actually talking about someone else and what he was holding on to, but I carried it over to my situation), but it still lingers in my mind, unable to die.

Lord, just give me peace.

Happy Birthday, MOM!

Saaaayyyy whhhaaaatttt???? I'm 30 min early for my mom's birthday! But...November 5th....a great day to celebrate an amazing woman. She's the best. Ever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

Steve Jobs...

#1-It's been a long time since I posted anything on this blog. I apologize.

B-I know this is a little bit of time after Steve Jobs' death, but it's just been on my mind...

An article was in our Omaha newspaper shortly after his death (as I'm sure it was in many cities' newspapers across the US). One thing that caught my attention was a little piece that said after asking his pastor, at the age of 13, if God knew there was poverty and hunger in the world (I am taking this from memory because I am sure my dad has already recycled that paper so it is not verbatim) and hearing his pastor's response, he never returned to church since then. I was saddened by that, as I am whenever I hear of a brother or sister in Christ walking away from Jesus.

But as I continued to think about it, I wondered...did Steve Jobs ever donate to charity? Did he ever give his millions or billions of dollars to someone who could really use it? I looked up that sort of thing and many people criticized him for never donating to charity, some suggested maybe he donated anonymously, and some said that him creating jobs through Pixar, Apple and creating items to make our lives easier was charity enough.

Then I thought about something I read in a book (I believe it was "The Case for Christ (or Faith) but I'm not 100% sure) that the question was asked, "How can God be so good if he just lets poverty and starvation happen here on Earth?" The responder said, "1st thing, since we've been shaking our puny fists at God saying we're gonna do it our way...that's just what God has let us do, it's our choice to run this Earth our own way. 2nd thing, that being said, can't God ask you the same question? If we're so worried about poverty and starvation, then why don't we do anything about it?"

So if Steve Jobs was so worried about poverty and famine and all things bad, I sure hope he didn't just sit there and blame God and then do nothing on his own with his billions of dollars.

Fighting...

Hello.

So recently I've been fighting with myself and with God. I have 2 things I want to do...both have their positives and negatives. For both of them, though, I've been laying out the positives and ignoring the negatives and expecting God to just throw the correct answer my way. I'm learning quite a bit of patience here...and it's frustrating.

Option #1 - Go back to school next semester (next semester meaning Spring semester since I've pretty much missed the fall one). I'm looking at Methodist Health College and Clarkson College to go into a nursing program.

Option #2 - Apply to go with my church to Mali, Africa for 1 week and have an amazing experience there. The 1st mission trip my church went on when I got back to Omaha was to China...which I would have died if I had been able to go there...I want to go to China so badly, but I don't think my heart was ready and I don't think my wallet was ready either.

Mission trips are one-of-a-kind experiences and I would absolutely love it. My heart has been wanting to go over seas or just out of the country to help and experience the Lord in different ways. I think my heart is crying for the Lord and it knows from previous mission experiences that is where I am completely immersed in his love and glory for children and people other than myself. My heart breaks every time I look at a picture of my sponsor child from Rwanda and hear the prayer requests he asks me to pray for him. I want to go through Compassion and meet him.

I need school though. I need to finish and get a degree now. I always throw in that I could finish and get a degree in nursing, then with that degree travel around the world to third world countries and help them there with my complete knowledge and training. I would be happy doing that.

I'll just keep praying and wait for an answer....grrr patience.

Hello.

A beautiful thing is never perfect.

~Egyptian Proverb

Happy Father's Day...

Hello.

Late yet again...but this is for my dad. I never met a guy who can equal my dad. My mom is the luckiest woman in the world. He's the best Dad in the whole world...hands down.

(And no we are not about to drink in the picture...we are at a wax museum...being goofs...as usual.)

Not A Religion...

‎"Christianity is not a religion. Religion is looking at our lives and seeing what we have done and then offer it to God as if it were a job resume. Christianity is saying to God that I have nothing to offer you and then replacing our resume with Jesus'." -Mark Ashton

Love it.