Happy...

Hello.

All my life I've done everything I could to make other people happy. I mean, I wouldn't say I've made huge sacrifices every time to make someone happy, but they've always been little sacrifices...and after 20 years (almost 21) it's really built up. I tried so hard to make everyone happy-my parents, my sister, everyone in my family, my friends, my teachers, my babysitter growing up, my classmates-that if someone ended up not happy, I would beat myself up over it; I would feel terrible that, that one person was not happy.

I feel terrible saying this, maybe a little selfish too, but I'm going to say it anyway: I'm tired of making everyone else happy. When other people are happy, it makes me happy. When someone is not happy-whether it's with me, or because of me, or because I think it is because of me-I am miserable. Now I'm not saying I don't want other people to be happy, and I'm not going to try and make them happy, but if a decision I'm making to make me happy, makes someone else upset...well, too stinkin' bad. After 20 years, I am making myself happy.

Now I just need to learn what makes me happy...