Impossible...

Hello.

The other day I heard the song "Impossible" by Shontelle. I had heard it plenty of times before, but for whatever reason this time I really listened to the words. All of the sudden I had a flood of emotions and feelings that I haven't felt for about a year and half now. I didn't cry because I have no tears left to cry over that situation and what went down, but I started to feel sick to my stomach.

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

You apologized a year later, but that doesn't stop my mind from asking questions. They all said it would never last, they said it was impossible. Why couldn't we prove them wrong? Why couldn't I see the real you, when they all could?

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Empty promises were something I knew all too well. Why did you feel the need to embarrass me after all was said and done? Your friend sent me nasty messages, blaming me for things I never did...I lost friends from our church because of things you had said about me...your mom emailed me blaming me for things...why did you do that?

Now that those questions have started, it'll take awhile for me to calm down again. Just because you apologized doesn't mean the hurt isn't still there.